JOSH CLARK'S BIRTHDAY PARTY - PART TWO 1-25-04
If you've never been to the resturant / lounge "THE PARK", it's a nice place. It opens into a bar with a few lounging booth type areas to the right where there is a fireplace. If you walk to the left of the bar there is a restaurant area with a lot of tables for ritzy dining, and what looks like outside seating/which seemed to be obviously closed for the season.
If you go past the bar there is a staircase going down to the basement where there is a coat check. Just past that staircase if you go around it rather then down is a second level with a 2 more bars and it opens to the left to another lounging room with a big fireplace. If instead of going left, you go right there is a door to two more big staircases and halls heading up to the top floor, where there is another bar, lots of plush seating a fireplace, a DJ, and a tented in outside patio lounge for smoking, with a Jacuzzi, changing rooms, and heaters.
When we got back to the top floor after checking our coats we reintroduced ourselves to Josh's friends-most of which I have met before at other parties. Zack, Mike, Paul, Emerson, Eric, Carson, Josh's roommate Kay Kay, and a bunch of others. There were also a bunch I hadn't Leslie, Danny, Jessica, Whitney, Sarah, Alana, Alex, Gengis, Trevor, Charlie, Jerry..the list goes on and on.
Me and my boys bought a few drinks and started to mingle.
First Ran-D started talking to a few Russian women. He was talking to one of them, the other had laryngitis. So she was not only mute, she also couldn't understand English. It must have been amazingly difficult to try to have this conversation, but it was funny as fuck to watch.
The drinks were expensive, but I was out to have a good time. My brother Brett, whom is known for getting drunk and rowdy at parties, was broke, and could only afford one drink, so he was bumming from the get go.
The night wore on and everyone started loosening up. Brett and I decided we should wander down stairs and check out the crowd on the lower levels. Each level was a different climate, woodstoves scattered here and there making one room bearable, the next sweltering.
After doing the rounds once we decided to head back up to the penthouse level. We got to the base of the first staircase only to find that there was a massive human traffic jam of people. They had closed the upstairs, and were only letting people in, when others left.
We tried to sneak through a corridor (the way we came down) but now there was a bouncer there. As we were going to begin to haggle with him we noticed that the other bouncer was getting pissed off at Josh's friend Zack. I the bouncer started dragging Zack and Mike away from the entrance...from the looks of it they were getting kicked out, so Brett and I scrambled out of there so we wouldn't be kicked out by association.
We worked our way back into the room with the human traffic jam. People were fanning themselves and sweating on their shoes. "This is bullshit." I said to Brett and I motioned for him to follow. We both bellied up to the bar, and started walking sideways towards the door, skirting the line. Just then the bouncer opened the door and started letting a few people through. We jumped right in behind like the 3rd person, and in a flash we were stumbling back up stairs.
By this time Josh was completely tanked. I was getting a good buzz on, and people (strangers) kept walking up to me and telling me that they love my work, or that they were at my birthday party...etc..etc. Which is always kinda cool, and I got into some good conversations.
I decided to take a load off on the patio and chilled out on a couch by the Jacuzzi under a heater, I could tell the Jacuzzi was empty, because some geek was sitting in it trying to be hip, and failing miserably. I decided to just chill out for a little while and soak in my surroundings.
A frat boy looking guy sat down next to me, he was really plastered and stunk of booze. "Is this your drink?" He blurted out while pointing at a full looking glass sitting on the knee high table in front of me. "Nope." I replied. "Well, it's mine now," he said picking it up.
I then watched as frat boy chugged away, stopping in mid chug to realize that there was an extinguished cigarette dodging ice cubes in the glass. He dropped it as though it were poison, and doing his best Spalding from Caddyshack impression started to gag and wretch. He then ran off holding his mouth as to not expel the vomit. Hilarious...
Josh walked past me a while later and donated his half digested dinner to the chagrin of the patio's shrubbery. Is stomach bile a viable form of fertilizer? Josh couldn't make it to a toilet, so a potted plant sufficed.
Then there was the resident coke dealer guy. You see this type of thing all the time at NYC Clubs. It was just funny to watch this guy work. I'll call him the Mini Pimp. The Mini Pimp was standing outside in his trench coat, just laying in wait for an opportunity.
Three stuck-up blond chicks wandered out, they had been outside before and Ran-D had tried talking to them, and they completely blew him off, so now it was just amusing to see what game they were trying to play.
Well, when they came out this time, the Mini Pimp approached alpha blond and whispered in her ear. They then all followed Mini Pimp into one of the Jacuzzi's 4'x3' changing room, closed the curtain, and came out sniffling and wiping their noses. Before they came out Ran-D and I were cracking jokes "That Mini Pimp either has a shit load of free coke, or his pimp hand is diesel!"
I went in for another drink and when I came back out Ran-D was talking to this chick from Denmark, who is a fashion designer for the group THE ROOTS. Her name was Louise (pronounced Lou-E-za). She was hanging with two other girls, her Danish roommate Tilda, and this hot Asian/Irish actress named Vanessa (Asian with green eyes and freckles).
Being (at the time) in a relationship, I played defense and talked up the other two while Ran-D got to know Louise a bit more (This is how bro's help each other out).
Nature called and I had to plow back in through the overwhelmingly packed room slipping as nimbly as possible through the throngs of sweating bodies to the staircase. I slipped down them to the landing where the bathroom was, hit the head, and tipped the bathroom attendant. I looked at the amazing array of bottles, mints and tonics he had displayed on and around the sink. I noticed a bottle of polo. I was wearing polo (the blue kind) and this was the green bottle, so I figured it couldn't be much different and sprayed a little on myself. I couldn't smell it, so I basically doused myself with it (because I was drunk). Then it hit me, or hit my nose rather. This was probably the strongest cologne I have ever smelt, and now I was saturated with it.
I laughed at this, but left the bathroom and realized that I completely reeked of the cologne to the point where I couldn't even stand to smell myself. I was humming polo green and had to get the hell out of the confined quarters of this tiny hallway staircase.
I flew up the stairs and embarrassed by my stank (and I don't embarrass easy), I got outside as quickly as possible to try to air out my clothes and get some of the stench off of me. The outside temperature was frigid but if you stood next to the ceiling heaters built into the awning you would be fine, I opted for standing in the cold thinking that it would help dissipate the smell and the heaters might only cook and intensify it.
By now the party was going full steam, I was spending the majority of my time outdoors trying to keep the polo at bay, and talking up Ran-D's new Danish friends.
Just another day in the life of an Art Juggernaut.
-Cojo