GERMAN MAXIM JA? 4-8-04
Thank you German Maxim. They just sent me a bunch of copies of the March issue with a piece I did for them of Albert Einstein with his pants around his ankles reading a book about the meaning of life to a Neanderthal.
Seeing this piece in print was insane, cause it was the first time seeing my work next to an article whose text I couldn't read, cause it isn't in English and I am semi retarded. The illustration didn't make much sense when I drew it, and now it still doesn't make sense cause I can't read the article. But it was fun to draw and came out great. The article itself could have been written in Sanskrit, Latin, or those little scribbly stick lines in a word balloon Woodstock talks in when he's trying to get his point across to Snoopy for all I could make of it.
The amount of German I retained from 2 years of high school German slackery has been diminished to two things, the ability for me to count to ten, and then the ability to introduce myself. How far that will get me in the real world? None, it will get me none far, heh. Well, on my own, I'd be pretty useless.... Humm, only if I had a German speaking Ape!
I know there is a gorilla named Koko who knows 540 words in sign language. If I were say, single, and hanging out at a bar with a sign language fluent Gorilla and a hot German chick who also knew sign language, and we were trying to woo this chick, the gorilla would have a one up, cause at least he could make small talk.
I could still be useful though. I could first introduce myself, and introduce Koko (Koko and Cojo are pretty similar, so this wouldn't tax my German speaking abilities too much). Then I could order us all beers, I doubt I'd be ordering more than 10 at a time (If I did, I'd just have to make two trips).__I also don't think the gorilla would have a drivers license, or money, so without me, he wouldn't be able to get his drink on, or treat the lady to a drink, hence he'd have to work harder and probably not seal the deal (flinging poo= not attractive). --See! So in the end you do need me after all, DON'T YOU KOKO?!!! WELL, ADMIT IT, YOU DO! YOU HAIRY C*CKBLOCKING BASTARD! YOU WILL RUE THE DAY !!!! RUE, THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID RUE!!! YOU HEAR ME?!
They also sent an accompanying letter with the magazines, also in German! It's like a mystery letter that I will cherish always. Maybe I will one day learn German so I can read it, or maybe I'll send away for a German Little Orphan Annie decoder ring, so I can decipher it. Odds are it will just tell me to drink more Ovaltine, but what the hell, Ovaltine is full of vitamins. Now, to find me a sign language ready gorilla on the cheap that can translate German.
Just another day in the life of an Art Juggernaut.
-Cojo