BIG TONY'S BIRTHDAY PARTY 8-23-04
Big Anthony's birthday was to be a thing of glory. Ink and I arrived at his house very early. Turns out Ink neglected to inform me that the reason we'd be getting there so early is that he had volunteered us to work.
A little back-story to Anthony's family: His father is a famous French chef Jean Louis who was the head chef at Le Cirque in Manhattan for 20 something years, was friends with Salvador Dali and has over 500 lovers (A man of many stories). He now has a restaurant of his own in New Jersey, and just bought a second. Anthony's mother is a beautiful Italian woman. Of the offspring, Anthony looks like an Italian version of his dad, while his two younger sisters both got their mother's beauty.
Ok, I'll say it, his mom is a MILF. I told him that to his face, and Ink agreed. This is pretty much common knowledge.
As I said, Anthony's sisters are strikingly attractive. Jeanette, the older of the two has a boyfriend (see CHRISTMAS EVE EVE BARCRAWL 2003- coming soon). His 20-year-old sister Savanna is also hot as hell (she is actually the current head seater at Le Cirque).
Ink and I spent the first few hours moving chairs from one part of the property to the other with his the helpers Ant's dad hired for the party. While we did this Ant power washed the outdoor rock patio while "supervising" the barely there Daisy Duke wearing Pool girl who was putting some last minute touches on the pool.
Anthony's dad owns a giant property with multiple farm style houses and barns and one main house with an old kidney shaped in ground rock pool.
Well, after moving piles of chairs and tables the guests started to arrive. Ant's family and friends all came and we were treated to a birthday feast like no other. His dad's kitchen is the equivalent of what I'd imagine a kitchen of a master chef in France would look like. Triple sized range, three sinks, multiple stoves, subzero fridge. Ant's dad's kitchen makes Emeril's set look like make and bake.
Snails never tasted so good. I had conversations with a lot of Ant's buddies of lower intelligence, flirted with this cool Puerto Rican chick who recently had breast reduction surgery because her boobs were so massive they were giving her back problems (She showed me the "scars "-wink!)
Ink had set up plans in advance for that cute Asian bi-sexual chick Amy (see-Christmas Eve Eve 2003-again 2003 will be up when the entire site launches) to come out from Brooklyn.
Ink talked some drunken 17-year-old muscle head into letting him drive his car to Hoboken to pick her up at the Path train.
When Ink and drunkster showed up back up they had Amy with them. When it got dark and we were all drunk Ink, Ant, and I hopped in the pool (although it was freezing cold) Ink and I managed to talk the Puerto Rican chick to strip down to her bikini and hop in. We tried to get Ant's younger sister and Amy to come in, but they wouldn't.
We did a lt of launching each other into the deep end. Ink didn't realize that he had forgotten to cut his fingernails and after having launched off my shoulders a few times he managed to dig his fucken toenails into my shoulders.
After we got out and dried off we all gathered in the main den to shoot darts and bullshit.
Some jocky doofis was drunk and tried to start a fight with me, for reasons I still don't understand. Either way this strange machismo freaked out Amy so she wanted to leave. This was a very strange reserved version of the Amy we had seen last year.
The rest of us were pissed drunk and crashed in all the empty bedrooms. When we woke up we picked through the leftovers (Which there was tons of, and it was delicious).
I took a dip in the pool and somehow talked Ant's youngest sister Savanna into getting into a bikini and swimming with me. We ended up having a long talk in the hot tub before Ant's dad insisted Savanna and I come with him to see the new restaurant they just bought to give my artistic opinion of what they should do artistically with their interior layout.
Just another day in the life of an Art Juggernaut.
-Cojo
