THE BEST WRONG NUMBER 3-16-02
So a year ago I get this call on my cell phone:
VOICE: "Yo, what's up man? It's Vinnie!"
COJO: "OK?"
VOICE: "Remember I told you I'd call you when we were having another one of our parties?"
COJO: "Mmmm. . .yeah?"
VOICE: "Remember me Vinnie!? Well we got the Swedish chicks in, and they are all going to be at this party it's on 23rd street."
So I'm like. . .
COJO: "Hey. . .hey. . .stop, you got the wrong number."
VOICE: "This isn't Louis?"
COJO: "No, it's Cojo."
VOICE: "Oh, sorry. . .damn, how is your number down for Louis? Damn, sorry man."
(click)
So after that. . .I'm dwelling on this for a few weeks. What is this party? What is the whole Swedish chick thing? I kept thinking if I had kept him on the line, maybe I could have talked him into inviting me to this party/
So a year goes by, 2 days ago...I get a phone call. It's Vinnie, and the guy says the exact same thing! He thinks he's calling Louis again. So I'm like. . .
COJO: "Dude. . .let me stop you, you know what's weird. A year ago, you called my number, and told me the same thing. I'm not Louis, this is Cojo."
He starts to apologize and I'm like. . .
COJO: "What kind of party is this anyway?"
VOICE: "Are you cool?"
COJO: "Yeah, I'm cool man."
VOICE: "How old are you?"
COJO: "25."
VOICE: "Well my cousin owns this tanning salon on 23rd street. He flew in these Swedish models. They want to be models but meanwhile they work in his salon
and he puts them up in apartments, they are bi-sexual.
And we have these parties, these chicks are hot as hell, blond, skinny, fat asses, big round titties, pink pussies. They eat each other out, we double team em. 4 guys 2 girls, 3 girls one guy. These parties are crazy! Do you party like this?"
COJO: "Not really."
VOICE: "So are you conservative ?"
COJO: "Not conservative, I just have a girlfriend whom I live with."
VOICE: "Is that going good?"
COJO: "Yeah, it's great."
VOICE: "You sure?"
COJO: "Yes."
VOICE: " You ever have 2 chicks at once?"
COJO: "Not at the same time no."
VOICE: "You're missing out man, the party is tommorow night!"
VOICE: "You could come and watch. . .eh. . .I don't think you would be able to do that without at least having one of them sucking your dick."
COJO: "I'm going to have to pass on that man."
VOICE: "You don't understand, these chicks are tight, their little pink pussies are so tight
We said bye, and that was that. I stood there thinking for a good long minute. How life could be different if I got that call and I were single. What the hell kind of lives are these guys living?
It was as easy as saying yes or no. It's like Chris Rock said, "When you are single, nobody wants you, when you have a girlfriend you get calls from some hot chick wanting you to be a judge in a blow job contest between her and all her girlfriends. . .and you get that call every Wednesday!"
Why didn't I get wrong numbers like that when I was single? A fucken wrong number, that turned into offering me free sex with 3 girls at once. . . I must really, really love JEN.
Hear that Jen, I love you.
Just another day in the life of an Art Juggernaut.
-Cojo